Elephants and capitalism

Elephants, elephants, elephants. That is the theme today. We had booked an all day tour for today, that was billed as the floating markets, an elephant show, and something called the rose garden. It proved to be an all day elephant fest.

We started out early, with the tour van picking us up at 6:30 local time. The van stopped a few more times to fill all the seats with about a dozen tourists from all over the world. But the lingua franca of the world is apparently English, since all the instructions from the guide and all the signs were in English. After a 2 hour ride we arrived at the floating markets. These used to be a primary means for goods and produce to get from the country to the city, but now that modern transportation is used, they are a tourist attraction. We started off with a quick spin around the canals in a long tail boat, which zipped along so fast you could not really see anything. Then we paid another 150 baht to get rowed up and down the market. You get in a boat with about half a dozen other people, and slowly go up and down the market, where some sellers are in boats and others in a small stand on the ground right up against the canal. Some of them are really good at hooking you in. Literally. They have a giant hook that they use to grab the boat and pull it in; trying to sell you the same thing the boat/stand right next to them is selling. We resisted the temptation to buy folding hats, ashtrays with carvings of naked women, and wooden Buddha’s in favor of some pygmy bananas and mangos for some breakfast. Then we returned to the dock area, where there were more stands selling folding hats, naked lady ashtrays and wooden Buddha’s. Daughter #1 bravely bought some lychees, which look like hairy strawberries, with the edible part being a somewhat gelatinous looking white fruit on the inside. Although she approached it with some trepidation, they were actually quite good. Then it was back to the bus for the next stop – elephant village.

We signed up for the elephant ride, which went around a small track, including a short distance through a pond. The elephant had to hold its trunk up like a snorkel, it was so deep. The driver tried to sell daughter #1 a bracelet. She resisted, and was content to feed the elephants from a bowl of bananas she had bought for the occasion. We passed on paying to see the monkey village since we had seen the back end from the elephant. The monkey “village” basically was a few cages and some monkeys on chained collars. Then it was off to the next stop – the cobra show. I learned several interesting things at the cobra show. First, snakes are, as the barker at the show noted, “very lucky” because they have 2 penises, which the handlers demonstrated by walking around with a snake who seemed surprisingly excited to be handled, if you know what I mean. Second, “snake wrestler” is on the list of jobs that one really would not want to have. Especially when they wrestle three snakes at a time. He ended up with a snake in each hand and one in his mouth. Finally, I learned that Daughter #1 gets nervous when the python she is holding around her shoulders starts to move.

Then it’s off in the van to a buffet lunch, which is actually pretty good. The Thai chicken is clearly geared to the tourists, as it is barely spicy hot at all. Then there is another elephant show, demonstrating the history of the role of elephants in Thailand, including how elephants are caught, mock elephant sieges of a small castle and elephant soccer. I didn’t really understand how elephants playing soccer helped the Thai people build their country, especially since the elephants all wore jerseys of European and other Asian teams, but it was entertaining. The daughter bought some more bananas for the elephants, which they seemed to enjoy. Then we hustled over to the other side of the zoo for the crocodile wrestling (which is now also on my list of “jobs to avoid”). Mostly this consisted of two guys dragging sluggish and at time peevish crocodiles around a big tank by their tails. But it got more interesting when they forced the croc’s mouth open in order to stick their hand in. I’m not talking about just whipping the hand in and out before the ancient beast gets a taste. I mean put your arm up to the shoulder all the way down the throat! I’m surprised there aren’t more one-armed Thais!


Finally we get back on the van to go to the Rose Garden. It’s not actually a rose garden. It was, once, but was sold 40 years ago. So now it’s a tourist attraction of Thai dancing (which was pretty entertaining), and elephants. We skip these pachyderms to head back to the hotels. But not without one more stop. Surprisingly, not for elephants, but some jewelry factory where they try to hustle us to buy fine jewelry. I have to say, the Thai people have a strong capitalist streak. We manage to resist buying fine jewelry, and get back to the hotel, where we will spend our last night in Thailand before heading to Kathmandu. Hopefully we will find enough internet access and electricity to keep the blogs updated.